Jet off on a Flight of Fantastic Fantasy
‘Jet off to New York for the weekend,’ my wife said. ‘Sure,’ I replied. It turned out it was a loaded statement as we had already been booked on a flight from the Mission Terminal at Bath International Airport for a quick hop across the pond on a weekend full of some of the most hilariously dysfunctional characters we had ever had the pleasure to meet.
The pilots were ready to jet off, the crew smiling and attentive. We were ushered to our seats with strict formality by a hostess called Hayley and it was hard not to notice that another, by the name of Melanie, looked visibly nervous. We paid for the premium economy upgrade, and were very glad to have done so. The legroom on the flight was excellent. Easily on a par with Virgin and other major airlines.
However, despite the grinning reassurance of the co-pilot Paul, once we were given a… shall we say… rather fruity and extensive welcome by the Captain Jim, take-off led us to compare to other famous flights…
Jet off with Go Fly, and I suspect that you will find the time passes quickly. The cabin crew made excellent use of the aisle space. It was hard to keep your head still as they dance up and down in a variety of sturdy and yet eye-drawing footwear (I noticed in particular the black leather/red laces combination of the copilot).
Under the command of head hostess Nicola (whose deadpan delivery of the ‘Intimately Beckham’ range had everybody in stitches), the crew kept everybody fed and watered. I had the occasion to move from my seat at one point, just to stretch the legs, and found that actually, everything was not all smiles as the passengers suspected it to be.
Jet full of tension at 35000 feet
Were one to look beyond the surface, there were definitely cracks behind the smiling surface. It was clear as she was moving further up the plane that the hilarious Julia (hoo-lee-ah!) was becoming less and less impressed with passengers talking to her about her Spanish roots, despite her protesting at several different times during the fight that she was in fact Puerto Rican. There was a palpable tension between Ryan and Richard, the former looking at the latter like he wanted to end up next to him with his clothes off.
And then it all turned to chaos
Now this flight gave me cause to look into what is required of a cabin crew, and nowhere in the Cabin Crew Guidelines did i find anything that led me to believe there would be dancing. And yet dancing there was. I found across the aisle Ryan was taking photos with the passengers.
The pilots appeared and got involved, leading a few old ladies to send worried glances toward the swinging cockpit door. Apparently the auto pilot was VERY good. there were a problem with the loos on board though. Jim the pilot and Julia went to take a look and yet despite an extensive amount of time spent in there, couldn’t ease the blockage correctly into the passageway, or something. Must have been a problem with the pipes.
A quiet stay in the big apple
Suffice it to say the crew looked as glad as we were relieved to make it to New York. Not because they weren’t a pleasure to engage with but because I felt that they just needed a break from the cabin fever they clearly were suffering from. I recently flew on Virgin to Florida and right from the outset we were told in no uncertain terms that they were understaffed, and boy did they want us to feel it when they came by. We never once felt like that on this flight. While we were in the city we bumped into a member of the company management and had a discussion about ‘Hurricanes in the Pacific’. It turns out that a Hurricane in the Northwest Pacific is a typhoon and a hurricane in the Northeast! In all honesty I couldn’t wait to jet back, hoping we had the same people seeing us home.
And then there was Hayley
Bonkers. I’m sure this hostess lives in a different world to the rest of humanity. A force of nature, a law unto herself. She bossed the passengers, kept them fed, and could have probably flown the jet should she have wished. She dealt magnificently with a vomiting child (at least the sick bag passed me by without spillage!), cleaned up after herself when spilling wine and had quite an intimate moment with another passenger called George.
I had the fortune (or misfortune for George) to overhear of an incident in New York that involved the two of them. Apparently it didn’t end well but that didn’t matter. The flight back to Bath was an overnighter, and we were all welcomed to breakfast by Hayley’s tale of all of her ex-boyfriends. Never has a member of staff been quite so candid.
Would we jet again with Go Fly?
Two words for you. Hell yes. Even if there were no radiators halfway up the walls. Anybody whose been to the Rondo will understand. There is no question this flight passed The acid Test. I couldn’t breathe for laughing.
Aimi Kuhlke – Nicola
Rachel Bosomworth – Hayley
Sarah Mellowes – Melanie
Jane Morgan – Julia
Matt Knowles – Ryan
Tom Corbishley – Richard
Duncan Mitchell – Jim
Pip Knowles – Paul